Failure and Vulnerability:
Stuttering, stumbling over words, grammar mistakes, miscommunication, mispronunciation, and just flat out not knowing words have been accompanying me the last few months. When living in a foreign country and not knowing the native language there are bound to be times where you look like an idiot and other times when people think you are stupid even when you understand what they are saying. They insist on explaining the simplest of words because they think you do not understand.
I find that in general people are trying to help but there can be this sort of arrogance and degradation tied in because you do not comprehend the simplest of words making you defenseless. You seem a fool because to them it is so obvious and easy. Of course right! It’s there native tongue. Other people will not hide this feeling (especially children) and will just flat out laugh at you and make you feel like a dunce. It is an easy way for them to feel better about themselves by putting you down.
For the longest time this situation scared me, frustrated me, and made me angry. I felt this way because I had no control of the situation and I was vulnerable. I would avoid it at all costs; but now I embrace these situations and I do not let them get me down. Part of my job here, in Argentina, is to be humbled and to let it happen. I am not here to be the big woman in charge who is always right. I realize now that I cannot let little failures like this upset me. If someone feels better at my expense I will let it happen over and over again. It does not matter. It does not cost me a thing to be the butt of a joke because I will learn something and become stronger.
This is especially true here where the children I am working with has seen and experienced things that I could never imagine a child would have to deal with let alone an adult. Their lives have been filled with difficult times and situations that force them to grow up faster than they should need to. I want to help them have fun and just be kids for once. I wish for them to be able to forget the countless horrible things they might have experienced and just play. I am not saying that it is good to put others down but for these children maybe it is one of the only ways for them to feel better and for once feel in control of a situation. As I said before I do not mind being the stupid foreigner for a little while.
One advantage of culture shock and feeling like an outsider is that it causes us to think about the world that we come from. I have had time to reflect on my apparent weakness in speaking Spanish and how that difficulty applies to my life. I feel that in the United States, failure and vulnerability are not an option. These words are viewed as pathetic and they will severely prevent us from “getting ahead in the world.” Many people in our world today have become obsessed with chasing greed and power. We are so focused on the future and climbing the social and economic ladder that we sometimes forget the true purpose of life or the simplicity of being kind to others instead of stepping on them to get ahead.
I think failure and vulnerability are a necessary part of life, we cannot prevent them and we should accept them as something positive not negative. It is ok to fail. It is ok to be vulnerable. These situations can be constructive because they remind us and that we are human beings and that we are not perfect or kings of the world. The true king is Jesus Christ and only in remembering this will we know how to live life and understand what it is really all about.
Failure and vulnerability shows us that we are weak, broken, sinful, and dependent, which is something we need to acknowledge. It then becomes evident that we need the grace of God to survive in this world. Thankfully God gives his grace without any loopholes or tricks. Through God’s grace we see that all that matters in this world is love. Though we are broken vulnerable failures, God loves us no matter what we do. God first loved us by giving his only son to die on the cross for our sins and therefore, by his amazing example, we are called to live a life of love.
This month’s quote for thought:
“Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt
This month’s scripture quote for thought:
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:3-5
I find that in general people are trying to help but there can be this sort of arrogance and degradation tied in because you do not comprehend the simplest of words making you defenseless. You seem a fool because to them it is so obvious and easy. Of course right! It’s there native tongue. Other people will not hide this feeling (especially children) and will just flat out laugh at you and make you feel like a dunce. It is an easy way for them to feel better about themselves by putting you down.
For the longest time this situation scared me, frustrated me, and made me angry. I felt this way because I had no control of the situation and I was vulnerable. I would avoid it at all costs; but now I embrace these situations and I do not let them get me down. Part of my job here, in Argentina, is to be humbled and to let it happen. I am not here to be the big woman in charge who is always right. I realize now that I cannot let little failures like this upset me. If someone feels better at my expense I will let it happen over and over again. It does not matter. It does not cost me a thing to be the butt of a joke because I will learn something and become stronger.
This is especially true here where the children I am working with has seen and experienced things that I could never imagine a child would have to deal with let alone an adult. Their lives have been filled with difficult times and situations that force them to grow up faster than they should need to. I want to help them have fun and just be kids for once. I wish for them to be able to forget the countless horrible things they might have experienced and just play. I am not saying that it is good to put others down but for these children maybe it is one of the only ways for them to feel better and for once feel in control of a situation. As I said before I do not mind being the stupid foreigner for a little while.
One advantage of culture shock and feeling like an outsider is that it causes us to think about the world that we come from. I have had time to reflect on my apparent weakness in speaking Spanish and how that difficulty applies to my life. I feel that in the United States, failure and vulnerability are not an option. These words are viewed as pathetic and they will severely prevent us from “getting ahead in the world.” Many people in our world today have become obsessed with chasing greed and power. We are so focused on the future and climbing the social and economic ladder that we sometimes forget the true purpose of life or the simplicity of being kind to others instead of stepping on them to get ahead.
I think failure and vulnerability are a necessary part of life, we cannot prevent them and we should accept them as something positive not negative. It is ok to fail. It is ok to be vulnerable. These situations can be constructive because they remind us and that we are human beings and that we are not perfect or kings of the world. The true king is Jesus Christ and only in remembering this will we know how to live life and understand what it is really all about.
Failure and vulnerability shows us that we are weak, broken, sinful, and dependent, which is something we need to acknowledge. It then becomes evident that we need the grace of God to survive in this world. Thankfully God gives his grace without any loopholes or tricks. Through God’s grace we see that all that matters in this world is love. Though we are broken vulnerable failures, God loves us no matter what we do. God first loved us by giving his only son to die on the cross for our sins and therefore, by his amazing example, we are called to live a life of love.
This month’s quote for thought:
“Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt
This month’s scripture quote for thought:
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:3-5
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