This year has been a true journey not just a jaunt, visit, or outing. A journey is defined as an act of traveling from one place to another and suggests that a considerable amount of time and distance will be covered. This year I accomplished this in not just the amount of vast lands I covered by flying around 5,500 miles to Argentina from Minnesota, but also in my journey of world, spiritual, and self-discovery. I have changed so much this year. In ways that are evident now and probably in other ways that I will not realize until I return home. My YAGM experience has been one of the best in my life and it has taught me a good deal about the world and myself.
It has been fascinating being able to learn about the rich Argentine culture. I have experienced so many new cultural customs. Mate, empanadas, dulce de leche (caramel made from milk), the tranquilo (tranquil) attitude, and knowing how to accompany are just a few of the things I have grown to enjoy and will defiantly miss. Argentine culture is a part of me forever. Seeing and being immersed in another culture has caused me to reflect on my own culture as well. For the first time in my life I could put myself in the position of an outsider to the USA culture and contemplate and evaluate our cultural values. It has also made me more proud of where I come from and I appreciate my culture so much more than I did before. When I return I want to infuse the best of both cultures into the way I live.
During this year I traveled a long and arduous journey accompanied by my sometimes friend and sometimes enemy, Spanish. Despite the struggles and difficulties with language I have experienced this year I have really come to love and respect the Spanish language. I am the type of person who loves organization and pattern therefore learning Spanish grammar has always fascinated me. There are systems and patterns that I can follow that turn into a beautiful and efficient language. I probably know Spanish grammar better than English grammar. When I hear others or myself speaking Spanish I savor the beauty of the sounds and feelings of the words. It is such a lovely language. I will miss being surrounded by it everyday.
My faith odyssey has constantly been in motion this year. I have had time to reflect on my faith and what I actually believe therefore strengthening my values and who I am. The first area in which my faith has developed relates to nature. I have always felt a deep connection to nature and saw it as a part of my faith but this year has really made me realize how nature is a huge part of my faith and life. This is the first time in my life that I have lived in a large city for more than 3 months and I realized how much I need nature. Living simply and sustainably has become (and was always but I never really thought about it much) a spiritual practice as well as a socioeconomic statement. I find that having less and being more aware of my impact on this earth brings me nearer to God. I see the earth as a gift from God and spending time in nature is one of the ways I feel closest to God. I realized that I need nature to help maintain and find balance in my faith and in my life.
The second area that has developed and strengthened my faith has to do with the idea of God’s love. Working with the underprivileged children here has caused me to reflect on what I think love is and they have showed me the most extraordinary love that I have never experienced before. The children are teaching me more than I ever expected. The first day the all children were so excited and everyone wanted me to play games with them, to eat with them, talk with them, and to hug them. The second I got there they all loved me. They are so generous with their love. They melt my heart because they show me what love truly is and should be. They show me that no matter the living conditions or what is happening we can still love without question. They do not let their egos and judgments get in the way. I see God in these children because they have demonstrated the type of love that Jesus preached and showed and the type of love that I want to share with others.
Spending time with the other YAGM Argentina/Uruguay volunteers and Kate, our country coordinator, at our retreats has also fortified my faith because it has always been an open place for anyone to talk about anything. It has been great to see them all talk about faith and to see how our many differences and similarities come together to create a strong and supportive group with our faith as our stronghold. I have never really had many friends that enjoy talking about faith or who are Lutherans sharing the same faith. I have learned a lot from them all! I am becoming more confident and open when talking about my faith or faith in general. In the past it was something that I always sort of left unsaid but now I have the desire to discuss faith with others.
As far as roadblocks in my faith journey, I have experienced them in finding ways to share and talk about my faith with others. I want to share God’s love with others and I want them to know what God’s love means but when is the right time to talk about this? How do you approach the topic without the other person feeling evangelized or attacked? I now understand that sometimes God’s love can only be expressed and communicated through actions and by example.
Another faith blockade (and area of advancement at the same time) has been in understanding and accepting other people of the Christian community’s actions, opinions, and ideas. It has really become evident to me this year that not all Christians are similar and they do not all share the same opinions on faith and on world issues. I recognize that this diversity is something great…I mean who wants everyone to have the same ideas and opinions. That would be boring. But sometimes I feel like church politics, personal prejudices, un-openness to talk about faith, and close-mindedness get in the way of how God taught us to live. Sometimes our “humanness” prevents us from understanding God’s love and living in a community of love, compromise, and acceptance.
This year I have treaded down a path that broadened my views of the world and that made me more globally formed and globally informed. It also awakened a deep passion to fight social injustice that I didn’t know existed. One of the main issues that I have learned and been struggling with this year is how complex and arduous it is to change such long-standing problems such as poverty and inequality. Often I feel that there is not much I can do. What can I do without inadvertently harming the person I intend to help? What long-term solutions might there be for problems like poverty? These are just a few of the questions I have been asking myself this year.
While many of my questions remain unanswered, I have learned that the injustice these children face every day takes a lot of time and effort to heal. I struggle with the fact that change does not appear over night as I might wish it could. I cannot just swoop in and save the day for these children. There is not a lot I can “do” except “be” and “accompany” them. This has been difficult for me to accept because it seems absurd that anyone on this plentiful earth should be starving. But this absurdity also makes it even more important to fight to end social injustice. I tried to give them the only gifts I could, which were love and attention. I tried to let the children know every day in whatever way I could that they are special, unique and important. I learned how to “be” and accompany. Overall I attempted to make the children feel good about them selves in everything they did.
Finally, I have been on a personal journey this year and I have been getting to know myself better. I have been able to start to understand the type of person I am and the type of person I want to be. Reflecting on myself has helped me become stronger, more confident and ultimately, I think, a better person.
After the journey I have traveled this year I now realize that as I come to the end of one part of the journey I am beginning another part. In my end is my beginning. Maybe this is only a small part in my life’s journey but it has been one of the most significant in my life. Now I will carry everything I learned and saw onward and the experiences I have had here will inform the way I live my life from now on. I am lucky to have had the opportunity to share my experiences with you all this year and I look forward to continuing to transmit everything I have learned and seen when I am back home.
Quotes for thought:
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain
Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living. Miriam Beard
One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things. Henry Miller
Scripture for thought:
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep you over. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. Isaiah 43:2
